Despite the fact that she no longer holds office, has not clarified her political intentions, and seems intent, mainly, on making money, Sarah Palin coverage show no signs of letting up. Her recently launched bus tour—for the all-important purpose, as she has stated, of inviting “more people to be interested in all that is good about America”—is no exception. As we parse the constant updates from Palin’s not-a-presidential campaign, let’s take a look at previously issued breaking news on our favorite obsession.

Sarah Palin rides a bike.

Sarah Palin’s bus NOT hit by a tornado.

Sarah Palin buys a house.

Sarah Palin wears shorts.

Sarah Palin’s almost son-in-law is arrested on drug charges.

Sarah Palin invites Levi Johnson to Thanksgiving.

Sarah Palin is not divorcing Todd.

Sarah Palin tries to trademark her name.

Sarah Palin’s daughter gets a TV show.

Sarah Palin still fires guns.

Sarah Palin launches a website.

Sarah Palin doesn’t like “Family Guy.”

President Obama doesn’t think about Sarah Palin.